How to outwit – outplay – outlast hate


Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I could hate — really hate — viciously hate without reservation, hesitation, or self-reproachment — free of any sensation other than the forceful surge that comes from riding that rising tide of red, roaring anger.

Hate has been invigorating for so many people this year. Their hate has been affirmed and amplified and shared. It’s like a habit they’ve had to hide from others because it was perceived of as gross, disgusting, or indecent — and suddenly it’s okay, it’s normalized, it’s even celebrated. Fueled by hate, any of us could easily ignore the wisdom of the head, the compassion of the heart, and the understanding of the soul, because hate overwhelms common sense and erases common decency.

When you feed on hate, it’s never enough. It’ll distort who you are and what you once believed. It will wrack you to your core and bend even the most upright human into a crouching, snarling, feral beast.

Hate is a drug. You’ll crave more, and then you’ll need to hate bigger. It won’t be enough to hold hate in your thoughts or act on hate through small deeds like posting ‘funny’ jokes that hurt a certain group of individuals or saying ugly things to like-minded peers. No, you’ll have to hate in a way that humiliates others — that causes them pain, first mental anguish, later perhaps physical pain because you grow immune to the thrill of hate unless you ratchet it up.

Hate is the veneer you apply on top of the fear, the loud bellowing that muffles the tears, the hurricane blast that knocks you off your feet and violently propels you well beyond the limits of rational self-control. It can feel good to hate because your own pain seems to diminish; you get carried away and you’re simply not responsible for what happens. You’re free of blame. Any wrongs are because of someone else.

I’ve read an onslaught of items — articles, essays, tweets and commentary — over the past few days that made me want to wrap myself in hate, because hate would be so much more powerful than despair.

But then I’m reminded that hate clouds judgment. No good decisions are made in a frenzy of hate. Hate burns you up, consumes you from the inside, isolates you because the goal isn’t connection but separation. Few if any have ever loved out of hate, married because of hate, given birth with hate in their hearts, though many have died because of it.

Haters gonna hate. And the rest of us, well, when they’re done breaking and smashing and despoiling, we’ll be here to pick up the pieces. Because you can either create or destroy, and hate’s legacy is damage, desecration, and devastation.

We’re running a marathon here, and the haters rarely pace themselves; instead they run hot and heavy and hard. The rest of us simply have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Over time, we’ll move forward, while the haters burn themselves out.

So keep your pace reasonable, your breath steady, your eyes focused on whatever you need to visualize to get you through this.

Just keep moving.
Just keep moving.
Just keep moving.

Don’t drop out. Because that’s what they want.

Don’t give them what they want. Don’t hate like they do.

The way out is the way through. Together, out of love.
Not hate.

Cross-posted at

One thought on “How to outwit – outplay – outlast hate

  1. Your article brought to mind the seasonal tale of Ebenezer Scrooge in “A Christmas Carol”. If he could leave hate behind and embrace the change that positivity brings, it is possible. I think many people who carry hate do so unconsciously, even entire societies, just dragging ideas from the past into a perfectly new day that can be transformed by changing thoughts into positive ones of gratitude, kindness, compassion … Hate is a trap, peace is the path, and there is freedom and joy that comes to the person who leaves hateful thoughts behind. This time of year we are reminded of the possibility of transformation, but each day is a gift and a new beginning, not just January 1st.
    Happy Holidays!

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